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Friday, June 24, 2011

Divorce in the Country Part 2

This is the continuation of my previous blog about a girl named Noemi and her stand about divorce.
Noemi is up for the divorce bill. She believes that an abusive relationship is one reason why she supports the divorce bill.

The abuse can be verbal, physical or psychological. Imagine there were a total of 6,679 cases involving violence against women recorded in 2007 in the Philippines. Official figures in 2009 showed that 19 women were victims of marital violence every day. According to the Philippine National Police, wife battery ranked highest at 6,783 or 72% of all forms of violence and abuse against women. These are only for reported cases. What more with those who are “ashamed to report.” Domestic violence is not limited to one social class. Many of the unreported cases belong to women belonging in the upper class of society.

Divorce Law is a start. If the divorce bill is passed, changes will need to start within the family system and our culture.

Here’s is Noemi’s opinion:

1. As parents, we teach our children not by words but with our actions. Abusive spouses will pass on their habits to their children when they witness physical, sexual, economic, verbal or psychological violence. As parents, our children have to know that Violence against women in any form is a crime.

2. Women have to change – they have to be brave enough to leave their husbands and make it in on their own, believe in their own strengths and ability to live and support themselves and their children.

3. Men have to change. If a man feels entitled to treat his wife and children as property or human beings who should be under his control, then he needs to be thrown in jail if he acts accordingly.

4. Most importantly, we all have to change, women trapped in these relationships are isolated – some physically, financially, socially, others just emotionally (that is why there are accomplished career women who are in these relationships).

Marriage will not be taken lightly if there is a divorce law. The law is there to help spouses trapped in abusive relationships and when the marriage is beyond repair. What happens if your child witnesses the abusive spouse hitting their parent? The child will believe it is alright to be stuck in a marriage where abuse is alright. The child in turn, will carry this on in their future relationships.
I believe my friend when she said that “the most important persons in this situation are the children. In any decision you make, always choose the one that is best for them.”

Divorce bill is such a big issue in the Philippines right now. If people think that it’s important, they should show their support for it. If they are against, then voice out their opinions as well.

“Think about the benefits and consequences carefully. Think about how you, someone you know, or even how your own children will be affected by the bill if it becomes law.”

Reference:
Divorce in the Philippines

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